Tuesday, April 19, 2005


Each time you hear "Pontiff" take a drink

Dive under the covers and take a shot whenever you hear "Conclave"

Sing a Beatles song (from start to finish) for every "John Paul II"

Light up whenever they talk about the white smoke.

Torch something when it's black.

Don something red for every mention of "Cardinal" (two items if it's plural). When you run out of clothes, switch to slathering yourself with red-tinged food and drink. No bathing til the smoke turns white.

Remove a piece of clothing for each "Fresco."

Read the back of a different cereal box for every mention of The Da Vinci Code.

Fall on your face every time NPR's Sylvia Poggioli files a report.

Fall on your sword if it's a rerun.

Hook up sans birth control each time Vatican II is invoked.

Stop in the middle if you hear "Wooden Balls."

Slap someone silly 16 times for each "Sistene." (If no one's around, pop in the "Sixteen Candles" DVD).

Defecate each time you hear a pundit pontificate.

Wander the streets like an Alzheimer's patient when they say "Rome."

Return home when the bells start to ring.


  1. Please see my prescription info on your last post.

  2. Anonymous12:13 AM

    Ted Nugent to Fellow NRAers: Get Hardcore

    Apr 17, 8:46 PM (ET)

    (AP) Ted Nugent attending The 2005 International Consumer Electronics Show at the Las Vegas Convention...
    Full Image

    HOUSTON (AP) - With an assault weapon in each hand, rocker and gun rights advocate Ted Nugent urged National Rifle Association members to be "hardcore, radical extremists demanding the right to self defense."

    Speaking at the NRA's annual convention Saturday, Nugent said each NRA member should try to enroll 10 new members over the next year and associate only with other members.

    "Let's next year sit here and say, 'Holy smokes, the NRA has 40 million members now,'" he said. "No one is allowed at our barbecues unless they are an NRA member. Do that in your life."

    Nugent sang and played a guitar painted with red and white stripes for the crowd at Houston's downtown convention center.

    He drew the most cheers when he told gun owners they should never give up their right to bear arms and should use their guns to protect themselves if needed.

    "Remember the Alamo! Shoot 'em!" he screamed to applause. "To show you how radical I am, I want carjackers dead. I want rapists dead. I want burglars dead. I want child molesters dead. I want the bad guys dead. No court case. No parole. No early release. I want 'em dead. Get a gun and when they attack you, shoot 'em."