The colonic wasn't that bad.
For starters, the colonic hydrotherapist had pleasant bedside manner. He had clear, shiny eyes and a kind demeanor. Plus his voice had the same timbre and cadence as the filmmaker I used to work for, so he seemed familiar.
And since he's studying to be a nutritionist, he knew all about input as well as output.
The Eternal Om soundtrack helped, too.
"I know all the words," I joked.
First, I used the toilet.
Then we talked about why I was there (constipation and consuming convenience food and meat for two decades before going veg in 1987) as well as what to expect (the feeling of having to poop, which I was to "just feel" and not give in to).
I was told to disrobe from the waist down, although my striped knee socks could stay.
Then I got on my back, under a towel, and called him in.
He explained everything as it happened. I turned on my side, and he inserted the tube into the sphincta. It was a lot bigger than I thought it would be, but not too awful.
Then I returned to my back, with the knees propped up, and he talked while removing the gas.
He was quite funny, and I laughed several times.
Then he started letting in the water.
This was not pleasant - to feel the bowels fill with water, and to have the urgent need to fart and repress it.
After a short period, he started letting out the water and fecal matter - which was a relief.
Then more water came in - unpleasant again - and then he let it out.
In the beginning, there was a lot of yellow bile leaving the body.
"Does this mean I'll become a nicer person?" I asked.
It's possible, he said.
Each time the water came in, it went up a little bit higher in the abdomen.
Occasionally, he would massage the belly.
The entire procedure lasted about 45 minutes.
The worst part was feeling the blockages when the water was going in. It was somewhat emotional, and also reminded me of the gastric distress I experience after eating at a certain raw food restaurant. But then the water would move on, and it would be OK.
It was pleasant to hear him exclaim when a block was removed - and also to learn that I have correct mula bandha.
It was also pleasant to hear that the colon is in good shape due to proper diet; the gentleman recommended that I come for three appointments spaced two weeks apart, rather than six in six weeks.
And it was actually *fun* watching the fast-moving conga line of matter flowing through the tube. Rather festive, to be honest.
Afterwords he had me sit on the toilet, to get rid of any remaining water.
When I walked out, I felt light. The vision was clear. There was more energy and less urge to procrastinate.
I feel like I left something behind....
Which is a very good feeling indeed.
Photo shows this morning's rather spectacular sunrise, as viewed from Lake Shore Drive. (On the way home seven hours later, there was a rather spectacular car fire).