CK'S NEW APARTMENT INDEX
Rooms: 6
Bedrooms: 2
Radiators: 5
Windows: 13
Ceiling fans: 3
Cabinets in kitchen: 1
Amish space heaters: 1
Electrical outlets in dining room: 1
In bathroom: 0
Circuit-breakers: 3
Units in building: 12
Eunuchs in building: 0
Average daily temperature: 64
Coldest temperature so far: 58*
Warmest: 70
City-mandated minimum: 68 (66 at night)
Number of units between CK's apartment and boiler: 11
Number of complaints about the cold: countless
Number of items the landlord has repaired so far: 3
Number of yoga mats that will fit in living room: 10
Number of vegetarian restaurants in three-block radius: countless
*To his credit, the landlord has been working tirelessly to fix the heating problem; it turns out there are other apartments in the building where the temperature is a good ten degrees warmer.
I enjoy the indexes. I like being surprised by "facts", like the fact that you have one cabinet in your kitchen and no electrical outlets in your bathroom.
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