25 YEARS.... OR LESS


I learnt a few things while going through my grandfather's photo album at my brother's house yesterday.

My grandmother (mother's side) was born 100 years ago today (she died in 1991).

Her husband died at the age of 67, in 1965.

My mother (their daughter) also died at the age of 67.

Her sister killed herself when she was in her 30's.

I suppose that means I should get around to writing that novel sooner rather than later.


***


Recently in class a student did the finger-wag at me. You know, the gesture where they lift their index finger and curl it towards them a few times as if to say, "Come over here, slave-bitch. NOW!"

I always hated that gesture when I was a waitress, and often interpreted it as a signal to disappear into the bathroom.

But I came over anyway.

"What would you like?" I asked, taking out my notepad.


***


Yesterday's baby shower was very empowering.

First there was the open bar; after a few drinks we all got into a very deep discussion about politics, architecture and morality.

Everyone was dressed very sexily I may add.

But my miniskirt was still the shortest.

La Leche League gave a breastfeeding demostration, and recommended that the new mother breastfeed for at least five years. Then they handed out baby dolls to everyone and had us try it.

Then Planned Parenthood led us through a breast self-exam.

After the presents were opened, we loaded our plates at the vegan buffet and toasted Nancy Pelosi. Kneeling men massaged our feet while we came up with a plan for resurrecting the Equal Rights Amendment.

Then the band started, and we danced like crazy people at a Cramps concert.

Needless to say, I'm now a huge fan of the baby shower -- and can't wait to have one of my own.