DRUGS R BAD

Last year someone in Mysore gave me some Ambien to take on the plane home.

"You'll sleep all the way to Amsterdam," she said.

I was skeptical -- I don't take sleep aids -- but took half of one anyway.

I slept through the in-flight movies.

I slept through the meals.

At no point did my legs become restless.

Nor did I feel the need to shift in my seat.

I awakened refreshed in Amsterdam.

So refreshed in fact that when I learned my connecting flight to Chicago had not only been delayed but no longer existed, I was able to deal with it. Like an adult, even.

I've not taken Ambien since - even though I'm a disturbed sleeper.

Nonetheless I would like to have some on hand for this trip,.

So I called the doctor's office.

The woman in charge said they could not give a prescription over the phone unless I'd been there in the past three months.

I said I'd been there recently and asked her to look it up.

Turns out I was right.

I asked again if they'd phone it in.

Nope.

She would not budge; I had to spend $50 on an office visit or go without.

I started to feel like an addict needing a fix.

I called Dreyfus to vent.

While talking, it occurred to me that there may have been some left over from last year.

I tore the place apart.

After some time I found something curious inside a pillbox tucked into an obscure cabinet; two white pills twisted inside a plastic bag.

Enough to get me to India!