Sunday, September 23, 2007


NO WONDER I HIT BOTTOM





When you're a vomity invalid, you should:

-Drink ginger ale. In bed.

-Eat crackers. In bed.

-Sleep a lot. In bed.

-Curl up with a hot water bottle to reduce stomach cramps. In bed.

-Beg your friend Gridlife to bring you more ginger ale. (Not in bed).

-Watch Oxygen, Lifetime and We like a good little girl. In bed.




You should not:


-Clean the litterbox

-Sniff your chemical-laden new pillow

-Fret about how some get authorized while others do not.

-Eat Indian food, even if it is just rasmalai

-Watch a long movie about a Japanese family that's sent to an interment camp during World War II

-Follow it with a long French film about a Jewish boy trying to pass for Protestant at a Catholic boarding school during World War II.

-Chase it all down with an E! special about supermodel Janice Dickenson.

7 comments:

  1. Caca, don't you know that Janice Dickinson is one of the major known causes of becoming vomity? it is right up there with licking your childrens' hands when they come home from school.
    sometimes i fret about why people have been dissapeared from the list.
    don't forget your pro-biotics, that always helps me and my ankle biters when we are barfy.

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  2. Actually I really like Janice Dickinson. She and Susie Essman's character on "Curb" have the type of (pre-yoga) mouth I wish I still had.

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  3. oops. sorry. i didn't mean to offend.

    um, try the pro-biotics anyways?

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  4. Gridlife4:58 PM

    I was looking forward to giving you ginger ale in bed, but alas, I continue to be your Friend WithOUT Benefits.

    Which Japanese internment movie was that? The baseball one with Rolling Meadows' own Gary Cole?

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  5. CH- Why apologizing? No offense taken....

    GL-It was sans baseball. For one thing, there was crying. And it was shot entirely in sepia tones. D-pressing.

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  6. Gridlifes' romantic consultant5:13 PM

    Janice Dickensen needs some more plastic surgery. What an ugly old
    dessicated piece of human excrement.

    And Gridlife, you don't give a girl ginger ale in bed, you give her other, more manly things, in bed.
    Or on the kitchen counter, a table, chair, use your imagination.

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  7. i love janice.
    forget about that authorized thing.
    you're great just as you are.
    sorry you are sick. please take care

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