Monday, October 03, 2005

Can a Squirrel Play Possum?
Or Why One Should Not Practice Yoga on a Moon Day

Just a few minutes ago, as I was explaining to Henry the Punk on the phone why I could not practice in public today -- a moon day -- two gray blurs passed in front of me and behind the shelves holding 33RPM records and TV set. Lots of clicking and growing; somehow a squirrel has gotten into the house, followed by Kirby the cat, who chased it behind the TV.

I herded Kirby into the bedroom using a spray bottle (not just for Garba Pindasana anymore). The squirrel was clicking and growling like crazy when I changed into long pants, big boots, jacket and gloves (from what I've heard, squirrels are mean, their bites can be quite deep and some are rabid). I got on the phone to Wildlife Rescue (the ones who helped me trap the bat a few years ago). I was inquiring about how best to get the thing outside when I went closer to assess the situation. I could not see the squirrel anywhere. It was not behind the TV, not mixed in with the records, not beind the VCR -- nowhere. But I could hear it. I kept expecting it to lunge at me and bite me in the face.

Animal Rescue confirmed that their bites can be a nightmare; something to do with their superlong incisors. They suggested using a broom and herding it into a box, slipping a cover over the top and walking the thing outside. Peanuts could be used as a lure. So I set everything up and then of course the noises stopped. I have no idea where it is. Poking the broom around elicits no response. Dog and Dorian Gray aren't at home or I'd ask them for help.

So I resorted to calling evil Animal Control. They will not say whether they euthanize the animals they catch. I'll wait til they get there; if they say yay to euthanasia I'll tell them that I already did the job and get out of here already. In the meantime I can't pratice yoga. I'm sweating bullets in these big boots, jacket etc (it's quite a look). The cat keeps pounding on the door, trying to escape from the bedroom....I suppose I should get to work on those Oct 1 deadlines. Perhaps the quiet will give the thing the confidence to check out the peanuts....Or maybe I should call The Evacugees next door for help.

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