Thursday, May 25, 2006
IT'S THE FUTURE
Remember when they first put phones on airplanes and people would call their loved ones and say, "Guess where I am?! I'm calling FROM THE PLANE!" Well I am over Bucharest at this very moment and paying top dollar for the hour. What is meant to be satellite-enabled broadband is in effect slower than dialup and far more expensive than AOL in the early years. But here I am on the aeroplane hunched up typing on my very own laptop (the seat in front of me is tilted into my knees) and listening to Tamil pop music and waiting for my Special Meal....
Which reminds me. You know how sometimes someone will come down with cancer and some know-it-all will intone, as if they'd brought it upon themselves, "Well, they have the cancer personality after all." I'm no fan of that blaming the victim BS but others believe in it wholeheartedly and far more still believe you can conjure up events and whatnot with your thoughts. Which brings me to the botched Chicago-Montreal-Toronto-Toronto-Frankfurt leg of my journey.... Did I bring it on myself via all of my PMS-fueled* anxiety and fretting? Or did I have a premonition?
I'd like to think it's the latter. In fact my sixth sense tells me this is so.
*Too much info alert...........My holiday became a literal one when Aunt Rose came to visit at O'Hare. Fortunately this trip is so long I should no longer be polluted and incapable of defilement when it's time to practice at the shala.
-All of the food trucks at the Toronto airport say "CARA."
-Buying Earth Sandals and wearing them with SmartWool for the journey was a brilliant move. My back hurts not at all. Yet.. My neck, on the other hand -- ......
-Number of people who've cut in front of me since leaving Canada: At least 30.
-Air hostesses must like it best right after they've served the meal and we cannot move, held hostage by our tray tables. No wonder it takes them so long to remove the things.
-Possibly another Mysore-goer on board; wan, white late 30's woman with stringy hair and glasses -- only she's in Business Class.
-On Air Canada to Germany the language priority is: English. German. French. No wonder the Quebecois are so angry. But their airport has WiFi, while Toronto's does not.
-From today's Hindu newspaper: All patients at government hospitals in Imphal were forcibly discharged as part of an intensified "cease work" agitation by gov. employees demanding "higher dearness allowances and other service facilities....Doctors and paramedics stopped treating patients in emergency wards."
-So far no one has looked twice at my (heavy) carry-on baggage. Perhaps I could have brought deodorant after all.
-Many pregnant Muslim and Hindu women with children, unaccompanied by husbands, brothers or fathers, are traveling this week. And the World Cup hasn't even started yet.
-I've had wine with the last three meals and could easily become quite the boozer.... When in Germany one should always order the white, as the red is acidic to the point of carbonation.
-From Frankfurt to Bangalore they show one bad American movie (Cheaper By the Dozen II) and one bad Bollywood movie.
-Why am I inevitably seated in the baby and family section? The infection section.
-Vat ist und Purser? She has the watch with two dials and walks with authority.
-I can't help it: hearing "Duty Free" makes me laugh. As does "Casual Friday."