Wednesday, May 10, 2006

WHY ONE SHOULD NEVER VENTURE OUTSIDE THE CITY*



Last night Dorian Black and I made our way to REI, which is in the suburbs far, far away. I was in search of a computer sleeve, a back-friendly bag and a rain-poncho-in-a-pouch for my trip to India. The pickin's were rather slim and the prices were high -- apart from a well-made Timbuk2 commuter bag with laptop pocket ($70, marked down from $100). Unfortunately my very large and heavy laptop would never fit in it. But I'm bringing it to Mysore with me anyway, dammit. I did find a quick-dry towel for yoga ($7.50), which seems like it'll come in handy during the monsoon; apparently nothing dries in the humidity.... Which reminds me -- has anyone else noticed that outdoors folks are just this side of hippie-zombies? Pass the granola bars, bro.

Starving, we crossed the street and came to a crossroads: China Buffet or World Buffet? I'd never even seen one of these places but Dorian Black had had a good experience at one of the the former. After a quick walk-through it appeared that World Buffet was the more veggie-friendly. It was massive and brightly-lit, with a bar and dance floor (after hours it turns into a night club) and innumerable tables and chairs. Every other diner was an immigrant of some sort. There were several buffets, representing the five countries that make up The World: China, Japan, Korea, Mexico and the USA. Apparently that just about covers it. But upon closer inspection it turned out there wasn't much that was veggie-friendly after all. So we filled up on Korean glass noodles, Japanese tofu, Chinese bean buns and desserts. And felt rather ill for the rest of the night.

But at least the food was cooked.



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*One should never leave except to buy spraypaint, which is verboten within city limits. Far more pleasing is the fact that foie gras was just banned -- in the former Hog Butcher to the World, no less. Which is in a state that placed a moratorium on the death penalty. Take that, NYC.

3 comments:

  1. you should have gone to the rei in oak brook. the one off of golf rd is terrible. i would know. i'm a hiking hippie zombie!

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  2. Anonymous11:09 AM

    Did you get gas from that crappy institutional food?
    Ever try cooking at home?

    So are you now a George SafeRoads Ryan fan because he did the old Chicago shuffle with that death penalty bull shit to help with his corruption case, which in effect didn't help?
    Even that liberal dickhead MASH guy bleating what a good guy SafeRoads was couldn't help Humpty Dumpty from his fall.
    Guilty on ALL COUNTS!

    WOW, the city council banned duck liver, over the objections of little big man. They do such important work for the people!

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  3. Caca, you need to get some meat into your digestive system, and quick!

    Forget about eating that raw and supposed vegetarian crap, that is for cows, (you are not a cow, right?)
    and eat meat that is made from animals that are eating that grain and grass.
    Your system obviously cannot handle the chore of digesting greens, so let hogs & cows do it for you and feast on their nicely cooked meat!

    ReplyDelete