Thursday, July 27, 2006

IF JULY 26 IS YOUR BIRTHDAY....

Actress Sandra Bullock (1964) shares your birthday. People often notice you. You're out there with your colors flying. Your leadership skills are effective because you understand what makes people tick. You do your homework before undertaking a task; nevertheless, you'll also take a gamble. You're self-confident, and your views are definitely your own. A major change might take place this year. (Perhaps similar to 1997.)


....you may have a conversation that goes like this:

MECHANIC: Caca?

CACA: (looking up from Elle magazine) Yes?

MECHANIC: We checked your car

CACA: (apprehensive) Yes?

MECHANIC: The dye we put in with the power steering fluid shows that...

CACA: Yes?

MECHANIC: Apparently there's no leak. And the rattle disappeared once we replaced the fluid.

CACA: Huh?

MECHANIC: We didn't find anything wrong with your car

CACA: (incredulous) Really?

MECHANIC: So you can go.

CACA: This is the best birthday present, ever!





...or one like this, a few hours later, over the phone:


HEALTH CLUB BOSS: I hate to tell you this but you've been terminated, for being away for too long

CACA: Huh? What?

HCB: You've been away for over 90 days. We had to let you go.

CACA: I was gone for only 45 days.

HCB: Yes but you were supposed to fill out a Leave of Absence Form before you left, so we have to let you go.

CACA: What form? Nobody told me about this form. I did everything right. I even got subs for my class -- including a new hire! I did everything I was supposed to. Someone else dropped the ball....

HCB: Are you telling me how to do my job?

CACA: (abashed) Oh, no. It's just that I was so thorough I wonder how something like this could have fallen through the cracks. Why didn't anyone tell me about this form? I have e-mails documenting my leave, and nowhere did you or {your predacessor} mention this form to me.

HCB: How dare you put this on me, when I went to bat for you with Human Resources twice today -- on my day off! I even told them you were away to learn more yoga but they won't budge.

CACA: You know, the only reason I'm back at {this highfaloutin' health club} is because one of your members recruited me from {very expensive and exclusive health club}.

HBC: Yes I know, the members really like you. This has nothing to do with performance.

CACA: Then someone should have told me about this form.

HCB: It's all there in the employee handbook -- if you'd taken the time to look at it.

CACA: You know, you're firing me -- for no reason -- on my birthday.

HCB: Oh. Well. Happy birthday.... I had no idea it was your birthday.

CACA: Yeah well it's all there in my file -- if you'd taken the time to look at it.

5 comments:

  1. Well. Bad manager. Was is he going to do when he needs high-falluting subs for his classes? My mother was born on July 26....

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  2. Anonymous6:23 PM

    Hi,

    I am very sorry about that. Thats very bad. Happy b'day greetings.

    Vignesh

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  3. dreyfuss' biographer1:28 AM

    You have an ear for dialogue, Missy - you should write more scripts. Sorry there are people in your life who suck. This reads like a scene in "Office Space". Have you watched it yet? Someone should have lent it to you 2 years ago.

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  4. isn't that like a rip of The Office, brilliant downbeat Brit comedy (of course) anyway happy birthday for two days ago dear Cara... matrika hi and email on its way hope you are well
    dr d
    x

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  5. dreyfuss' IMDB researcher8:46 AM

    "Office Space" (the U.S. film from Mike Judge) was released in 1999, while Ricky Gervais' "The Office" ran from 2001-2003. Both are pretty brilliant in their own right, but this may have been one time the Yanks beat the Brits in developing the idea.

    ReplyDelete