Wednesday, March 21, 2007


"WHY NOT MARRIED?"


After teaching from 6-9AM yesterday I practiced at YogaNow Edgewater and then headed over to Devon Avenue, aka Little India. I needed to stock up on frozen Mysore Masala Dosas, which taste *exactly* like the real thing and are four for $1.00. I had to get them before the Grocery Wars of 2007 come to an end.

But first I had to eat.

My usual custom is to go to Mysore Woodland and have iddly and dosas. I thought, "Well, I should go there in honor of Guruji." But economics won out; why buy the sacred cow when your basket is full of the same thing, at a fraction of the price?

I usually avoid Tiffin.

It's upscale and touristy.

Ie -- there are white tablecloths and good lighting and a full bar and white people eating.

Inside, it smelled like a fancy Indian hotel (restaurant).

The waiters were solicitous, as at a fancy Indian hotel.

One of them was wearing the cologne I've only noticed in India.

I had a flashback.

I thought of Guruji.

I thought of the Southern Star.

And I enjoyd that buffet.

Afterwards I headed to the grocery stores.

J&K did not have the instant chai that I discovered in NYC.

Patel's was out of the dosas. In fact, many shelves were empty.

I hit paydirt at the Farm Fresh store.

Plus they had watermelon.

I thought of Guruji.

While checking out the cashier noticed my tarted-up Indian shopping bag.

"Where did you get this?"

Mysore, I said.

No reaction.

Then she noticed my giant, flower-shaped nose-pin.

"Where did you get that?"

In Mysore.

No reaction.

In Mysore India.

"Oh. Are you married?"

No.

"When we wear this it means we are married," she said, pointing to her gold nose-pin.

I nodded.

"Why not married?" she asked.

And I thought of Mysore, and of Guruji, and the many times I've been asked that when I was there.

I still haven't come up with a good answer.

Any ideas?









Photo by Caca of the Ravenswood El at IPR

9 comments:

  1. How about: "My husband died in a previous life?"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Vanessa6:46 AM

    I usually say "because nobody wanted me!"

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous10:23 AM

    I'd go with "I'm waiting for the right girl." That'll shut them down down quickly.

    ReplyDelete
  4. drefuss' dermatologist10:25 AM

    Try "Why haven't you gotten that mole on your neck checked out? It looks like it might be cancerous." Even if there is no mole, it'll stop them long enough to escape.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi I'm new around here so hope I'm not intruding! Have you tried saying " mind your own fucking business?"

    works for me

    BL

    ReplyDelete
  6. "My astrologer said in 2015 for the right man. So I wait".

    or.."he's currently engaged in waging war against the pixies from the underworld, we will marry on his return".

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yes, we have wondered the same thing for decades now.


    Why not married???

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous6:18 PM

    ha! should be asking "why married?"

    ReplyDelete
  9. Why indeed!

    The Hormone Hostage
    The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!
    DANGEROUS: SAFER: SAFEST: ULTRA SAFE:
    What's for dinner? Can I help you with dinner? Where would you like to go for dinner? Here, have some wine.
    Are you wearing that? Wow, you sure look good in brown! WOW! Look at you! Here, have some wine
    What are you so worked up about? Could we be overreacting? Here's my paycheck. Here, have some wine.
    Should you be eating that? You know, there are a lot of apples left. Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that? Here, have some wine.
    What did you DO all day? I hope you didn't over-do it today. I've always loved you in that robe! Here, have some more wine.

    13 Things PMS Stands For:
    1 Pass My Shotgun
    2 Psychotic Mood Shift
    3 Perpetual Munching Spree
    4 Puffy Mid-Section
    5 People Make me Sick
    6 Provide Me with Sweets
    7 Pardon My Sobbing
    8 Pimples May Surface
    9 Pass My Sweat pants
    10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
    11. Plainly; Men Suck
    12. Pack My Stuff
    and my favorite one.
    13. Potential Murder Suspect
    Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh!
    ...Or men who need a warning.

    And remember: Money talks .... but Chocolate SINGS!!!

    ReplyDelete