Monday, September 08, 2008


It has been a rollercoaster of emotions these past couple of days: up and down, up and down but mostly just down.

For example, yesterday I was on my way here (to the browsing center filled with boy students playing a very popular video game) when I saw that there was going to be a procession for the Ganesh Utsava (festival). The air was cool and pleasant, the sun was setting: I decided to check it out. I turned the scooter around and went down the street, towards the road where they'd be parading.

Men and boys with paint on their faces were dancing up a storm and people were waving yellow "Om" flags. It should have been fun. But for some reason it felt ominous to me.

A couple of the boys separated from the group and approached me. Their faces were painted and they were sweating.

"Where are you from?" one of them barked.

"From far away," I replied.

"What? Far away? What??" he asked, not too kindly.

It didn't sit well with me.

"I'm from far, far away," I repeated.

"And," I continued, "I think I'll go back there right now."

And I turned the scooter around and fled.

* * *

One of the reasons the mood is foul is that it seems as if I am saying goodbye to the guru. There's a sense that I won't see him again, and it's a bit heartbreaking. There's also the sense that the shala no longer feels like home.

Things are in flux, and transitions are rarely easy.....


Dreyfuss said...

Time to move forward.

bindifry said...

much greener pastures ahead